Alright so I head back upstairs after my massive Rocky workout (5mins on the treadmill, 10 pushups, and 10 jumping jacks). Take a shower, brush the fuck outta my teeth because I don't need anybody else telling me I have trippies hot ass breath.
I go downstairs to get caitlin and myself some coffee cause the breakfast here sucks. It consists of old ass mother fuckin bagels and bananas. And believe me them bagels are old.
So caitlin gets ready, hop in the car, and shoot out to grandma's. When we get there, guess who we see rockin' the white tank, khakis, and some sexy ass chankletas with some crusty ass toes lookin like mireya's feet. You got it. It was grandpa by the dirty ass lake feeding his friends some bread crumbs......the ducks. We go over to say hello then make our way into the crib. Truth is only one of us really came to say hello to grandma cause I wanted to see wat she was cookin.
Grandma was cooking white.......wait, Jen get ready and grab some napkins. Your friends don't need to see you drooling. White rice, black beans mmmm yummy Tino, groundbeef mixed with potatoes, sweet plantains, and yuca. So as we're waiting for the food grandma starts talking to me about Mireya. She tells me how she called the crib yesterday asking how I was, and if I was dead or alive because I didn't call her when we got here. So I tell grandma Mireya is losing it now that she has new children to take care of. Before you know it the house phone starts ringin. Caitlin and I are in the smokers cage and grandma opens the door and hands me the phone and I take it not even asking her who it is first, but it's too late now cause it's already in my grasp and it's burning my hand and I don't know why. As I pull the phone to my ear, I look at grandma and she has this fake ass serious look on her face which seems like any second now she's about to laugh or that
she's constipated.
So I say hello and all I hear is a gritón. "hola!!!!!! Hijo. Soy yo tu única madre del mundo. Te acuerdas de mi? Yo no creo porque tu no me llamas. Estoy aquí preocupada porque no sabía si estabas muerto. No a podrido dormir. Por que no me llamastes mi hijo lindo? Tu sabes que yo a llorado porque nadie me estraña. Hay!!!!!! Me quiero morir.
So as i waited for the right moment to strike with an excuse. I looked at grandma and she's just hysterical. The only person I trusted in this whole world just jerked me. I feel like she just stuck her finger up my ass like she did with the suppository years ago. So I get to Mireya and tell her "I'm sorry, es que yo estaba muy ocupado" she says "o si??? Y con que??? Porque si yo me acuerdo bien tu estas en tu vacaciones y yo haca haciendo nada.. So obviously I didn't think it through too much due to the shock I got from grandma's prank......that biOtch.
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