Well let's get into the second day I was in FL. Because apparently my sister doesn't understand the simple f a c t that I have been busy.
So it's 10 something a.m. Caitlin is still knocked the fuck out. And I'm laying there fartin up a storm cause of all the beans I ate at grandma's, watchin fuckin sisterhood of the traveling panties. Which I have to say is the most boring film I have ever seen. U thought sandra bullocks ya-ya sisterhood was bad? Oh hell no, this shit has you crying from the beginning because it ain't finishing fast enough. Twice in a row i'm stuck watching this horrible movie because the hotel is too cheap to get timewarner yo, motherfuckers got the "hampton inn" cable box.
So I decide to get my lazy ass outta bed and go check out the grand gym this hotel has. I'm trying to get in shape u know that Alfonso Erazo fit. Especially after I'm gonna have a week of grandma's delicious food. So I put on my gym shit on and head downstairs. Now uve ever been so excited to go somewhere or just to check out something? But the only thing waiting for you was a big fuckin slap of disappointment? That's how I felt. I mean I'm gettin dressed right, I'm hyped, I'm doin the Mireya stretches, I'm out the door and 2ft away from the gym I stop. I take a deep breath, hold that shit in so it can make my pex stick out like I'm fuckin Arnold, and then boom I walk in....remember the slap I was talkin about? Yea well I just got it. I'm lookin at this "gym" and I want to cry. I feel like if I wanted to shed some tears I wouldve just stayed upstairs watchin the traveling bitches or fuckin Maury "HE IS NOT THE FATHER".Jen this gym only had a treadmilland an exercise bike.......where the fuck are my weights? I c ouldn't believe this, so I had to pull a gladisita real quick with an "oh hell no boo boo". I fuckin dashed to the front desk and said goodmorning...candice, let me ask you a question; is this the only "gym" you guys have or do you have other ones on each floor? ........She said only 1.
So I said fuck it. Mayb I can make it work with a little bit of joggin, push ups, and jumping jacks. Mind you this gym is like the size of jen's kitchen. So I decide to run for a few. So I turn it on I start walking. Pick up the speed now I'm power walking. I realize I'm fuckin sweatin already. There's like this little fan blowing hot ass air at ur face it feels like u can't even breathe. So now i'm joggin. I'm sweatin buckets, my shirt is drenched, and something stinks and I'm trying to figure it out. So I hop off the treadmill and start doing pushups. Now the smell is unbearable. It's like when your petting tripper and he has his face on your face breathing his fuckin hot-fire breath all up in your nose and burnin your nose hairs, shit makes you go "damn nigga care for a breafmint yo?" so I finish with my push ups and start doin jumping jacks. This in front of the small ass fan which turned out to be a mistake. So I'm doing my jumping jacks and the smell is back. It's I'm like what the fuck is this shit so like any person would do I smell my pits. Now I ain't gonna lie, they smelled iiight.
I'm goin around the room tryin to figure it out and I can't. So I come across a cleaning lady and she asks me if I would like a towel so I said yess please thank-BOOM she cuts me off....covering her nose and mouth as she walked away saying do not mention it. And then I knew.........
Stay tuned for part 2.
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