Coming to america part 1‏

Editor's Note: What Junior doesn't realize is the funniest part of this post is that even though he has lived in New York City his entire life, he didn't know how to pronounce Houston Street.. Please read.

Its tuesday night and im at fonz's crib baby sitting while he went off to play softball with a team that hasn't won a game for about a month...whack!

At about 9pm jhen calls me letting me know she just landed. If you didnt know she was pretty upset that her favorite brother (alfonso) couldn't pick her up from the AirPort. If you have Facebook then you would know cause she put this Nigga on BLAST!!! (kenny's words exactly). So she "axed" what i was doing after i finished baby sitting cause she wanted me to go with her and her friend ----- (editor's note: name left out to protect anonymity) Sutra. Of course i was down. So i called up the King of call of duty: modern warfare 2 (brother Kenny) to see if he wanted to come with. He came up with some half ass excuse that he had work in the morning and that he was already tucked in (ay!!! que lindo) Truth is home boy was probably broke ass. So i went anyway.

I took the N train to 8th street following my beautiful sister's instructions. (editor's note: I didn't want to confuse him with multiple subway transfers.. trust me it would have taken him twice as long) Sutra is on 1st street and 1ave. When i got to 3rd street i got lost. I didnt know that after 3rd st it was all names. I kept walking for 15 mins thinking it was gonna pop up but it never did. Jhen text me to ask to someone so i did. Un gordito caminando por alli told me to walk back. I asked him how far, he said about 15 mins back in the other direction!....now aint that some shit. He told me to walk down and look for housE-ton turn right onto 1st AVE then turn left to 1st street....im like ok. Im walking trying to make good time cause i also had to work in the morning. Its a Little past midnight. When i get to the corner of HOUSTON (fuckin idiot told me housETon) i did what the guy said and i found Sutra.

I walk in..and it was pretty dark in there. I have never been there before so i didnt know what to expect. All i saw were either thugged out niggas or pretty boys lookinglike kanye west with a little mix of neyo to it. There was jhen and her friend ----- at the bar. I got a Beer and jhen said lets go to the back. Im over here thinking we were going to a table to chill. NOPE, we ended up standing the whole time. We were basically on the dance floor where almost everyone was bustin' a move. It felt like i was in a remake of you got served. The music was really good so i didnt complain. A lot of the songs reminded me of when fonz used to blast that shit while he worked out on his solarflex and stared at himself in the mirror. I remember when he used to rap an Inch away from my face and i would feel this burning sensation on my cheeks and forehead cause he would spit at me.

So the whole time we're on the dance floor there was a black guy there doin his thing. Now...i dont know if it was the beers i had but it seemed like he was doing the same moves over and over. ----- even got in there grinding on his mandingo to a hip hop(not even reggae) song (dont tell me no cause im sorry con excuse pero yo lo vi todo) and he was STILL doing the same moves!!!! Anyway so every time a song came on jhen was like oh!!!!! Slaps me on the arm and goes Junior who's this who's this you gotta know you gotta know!!...while she points to her ear and up to the cieling. I couldnt remember the artists but i knew most of the songs. ----- stops dancing with the americas most talented dancer, comes over to the little corner we were on and then jhen disappears! So im there looking for her. She wasn't too hard to spot either...she was in between a couple of black guys so she stood out. Another song pops up and she's was like oh!!!!..Now she's pointing at me from across the dance floor saying my name Junior!!! Pointing at her ear saying who's this while she points at the cieling and then pointing at me again saying you know you know!! Im like i dont remember!!! But in my head i was like please stop pointing at me!
It was getting late and i tried to leave but jhen didnt want me to. So i stayed a bit longer.

We ended up chilling in the middle of the dance floor when the NeXT thing i know i have jhen yelling at me saying BATTLE HIM! BATTLE HIM! YOU CAN TAKE HIM!!! She was talking about the guy that kept doing the SAME MOVES!!! which is probably why he wasn't picked in the Cast of stomp the yard. So jhen starts to shove me to get in there to Battle this guy but im like fuck outta here, i aint no channing tatum from step up what Am i gonna do! I try doing the same moves imma end up punchin or kickin someone on the face accidentally. Worst thing i could have done was pull a salsa move on this mo' fo' to afuckin Hip hop song. BOOYA!