Cast of Characters- Part II

It wouldn't be fair if I didn't give you the following info:

Luis (Sr.)- my step father, Junior's papa. Straight up off the (Mariel) boat Cuban.
Real shit.

Lazaro- my (step) uncle. Luis's brother.

Caitlin- Junior's girlfriend

Grandma and Grandpa- Luis and Lazaro's parents and my dear dear grandparents. Salt of the earth

Hell Yeah... Junior is back from vacation....

Florida 1st Day

FYI-- in case you can't figure it out.. "Killa" is my step- father's miserable girlfriend.

So here's the Florida 1st day details...

We got there like 9 20am. I spot my pops with this grin and his nasty ass ponytail trying to get that Steven siegal look again. It ain't happenin. So I look right. Far right. And there's killer, just getting up from her seat. I'm like I knew u were here u bitch. Ugly bitch like that with crispy ass hair wearing a fuckin gigantoid hairpin can't hide from me. Anyway, we go to the car and of course I already know she ain't givin up the front seat.

Anywho, luis is driving and he asks if we're hungry we say fuck yea he says ok do u guys wanna go to burger king?.............honestly, accidently I spoke out loud and said FUCK NO. I didn't hop on a plane watchin it go up 50,000ft, goin through clouds, and landing to go to burger king c'mon. So we went to denny's. It was ok. I just couldn't take killers tantrums. "omg where are our napkins. No utensils still? We've been here for 2 mins what's taking so long." just because there's mexicans cooking ur breakfast doesn't mean they're all speedy gonzales bitch.

We get to grandma's, everybodys excited (everybody meaning grandma and grandpa). Lazaro's crazy ass wasn't there. Supposedly his alarm went off knowing killer was coming and the nigga bounced. So we all know wat comes next. Grandma's food.......fuckin bangin. I must of been droolin since the second I walked in that kitchen of heaven and lifted the lid off the pot till I got to the hotel.
So luis caitlin and myself go to the smokers cage, light up our stogeys and just start bullshittin away....NOT even 1 minute passed Jen and who comes a knockin? Can u guess?.....ding ding ding ur right freddy fuckin krueger. She comes through cause she just has to know wat we're talkin about. I wanted to slip Mireya in the convo I wanted to so bad Jen u don't know. I was laughing so much deep inside just picturing how crispy cream over here was gonna react. But I was nice so I didn't. 5 mins later "luis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tenemos que hacer compras vamonos." like wat do u really have to go shopping for at 11 30 in the morning? The only 2 people that get up at the ass crack of dawn to start cooking breakfast lunch and dinner all at the same time r grandma and juan. So they leave, caitlin knocks out on lazaro's bed and I'm there talkin to grandma and grandpa bout the kids n shit. Lazaro comes through jumps in the shower, changes and tells me to go to the
market with him. We hopped in the car of course and went. Nothing is walking distance over there. I must of seen about 7 people walking the whole week. Lazaro was in dying need of his breadsticks. When we get there everytime he passed a woman this is wat he said:

"Co ÑO"
"hay mamacita"
"te quiero"
"I love joo"
"I wanna marry joo"

We get the breadsticks, and start heading back. So I mumble that it's hot and that I'm bout to jump in the pool when I get back but I remembered my luggage was in luis' car. Lazaro says "bueno vamonos para ya para que te enseñe que esa come mierda no hico ningúnas compras. Before u know it BOOM there's his van parked in front of their crib. Unfreakin believable. So luis comes out takes my bag out and tells me that in like 10mins he was gonna head back to grandma's...yea riiiiiiight. I say bye see u later, as I look up at their balcony there's fuckin hellraiser makin sure luis ain't goin nowhere.
Went back jumped in the pool, caitlin got burnt ha ha, back to grandma's ate one more time, shot out to the hotel and knocked the fuck out....



6 more days of funny ass shit coming your way. Believe it.

A Little More Background

I also think I should mention my brother Alfonso and I have not seen or spoken with our biological father in at least 15 years.
Prior to that, we may have seen him only about 5 times since I was about 5 years old(Not including the time I was kidnapped and held in Ecuador for ranson when I was 9, but that is for another day)

If you haven't figured out by now, my mother had no problem welcoming in to her home the adult children of the ex- husband who abandoned his -oh, yeah and HER- children.

Here is some more background, which should recap the last year or so:
short version..

Junior, my mom and his girlfriend were living together

Junior and his (psycho ass) girlfriend broke up

Everyone moved out. Junior back with me. mom went to stay with alfonso.

Mom wanted to find a new place with junior, junior didn’t want, but wasn’t up front with her.

Junior moved in with new girlfriend.

Mom still wanted to live with junior

Mom was driving alfonso and my sister in law crazy.

Mom tried to move in to apartment in my building. I said no. spoke to my landlord and put an end to that.

Mom and I didn’t speak for 3 months.

Mom found a place which junior said he would help her pay for (stupid)

Mom couldn’t afford place, thought junior was eventually going to move in (again he wasn’t up front with her).

Sister Karen and brother paul had moved to ny. Were living with friends.

My mom and new siblings were very friendly.

Mom eventually suggested they move in with her.


Y aqui estamos!

Family Tree- Cast of Characters

Think this may be helpful

Here is the breakdown:

Mireya- AKA Mom, Ma, or Mami (if it's Junior), or my personal favorite "Your Mother".

Alfonso, age 36 (aka Fonz, Tino, Chino)- we have the same mother and father. He is the oldest. And my favorite. He is married with 3 kids

Jhen (me), age 32 (in july)

Junior, age 22 (aka Luis)- he is the son of my mom and my stepfather (so my half brother) He is the youngest brother (and was the youngest sibling until I met my sister)

Kenny, age 24- he is my stepfather’s son who lived with us every other weekend when we were growing up. My stepfather had hooked up with my mom when he found out his ex- girlfriend was pregnant. He is the one who had.. some… legal issues…

Paul, age 24 (will be 25 next month)- he is my biological father’s son who I met last year, so my half brother. He now lives with my mom and his sister (my sister Karen)

Karen, age 20- she is my biological father’s daughter and now the youngest sibling. My half sister. Who I met about 2 and 1/2 years ago.

Call Waiting Really Does Bring Out The Worst In Us

JR: U know it's funny I asked u to hold on cuz I had another call. I'm rushing to get off to talk to ur ass and all I hear is errrrrrrrrrr please hang up the receiver seems to be off the hook. No it's not off the hook, my sister just hung up on my ass that's wats off the hook.


JE: Ha! Sorry, brother. I have very low patience for being on hold while at the office (especially if it is a personal call). I am better than Fonz. He won't wait more than 3.2 seconds.


***my bad!

Gimme Ma Meat Bitches

JR: Yo wat is up with all this rain???I hate this shit. I'm coming to work in jeans and a sweater.....in June?
Wat the hell.
It's global warming biOtches!!!!!

Anyway, after work I met up with Paul ,went to the gym, then went to ma's. But ofcourse minutes later we were blessed by Mireya's presence. "haloooo soy yoya!!" she spots me and gets overly excited like I went away for months. "hayyy mi hijito esta aqui hahaaaa...dame un beso"

Now Jen, this grosses me out.....cuz when ma hugs me it doesn't feel like she's really "hugging" me, u know? I feel like i'm being molested. Caressing me wit her nasty ass hands n shit....kissing me gently, like get off me I ain't spicy like juan.

So we go in the kitchen to smoke a stoge, and she offers me some soup with some meat, potatoes, and yuca. Now ofcourse I tell her a little and she gives me a shit load because she's on a diet. Una dieta. So she's giving me broth potatoes and yuca but no meat. Where the hells the meat. She's lookin she's lookin n nothing. Now she's mad "que hijueputas, no me dieron mi carne. Ahora tengo que reclamar" I ask her where did u buy it? Is it far? No mijito aqui en cositas ricas. I'm like wat the hell it's up the block go get your meat...."no ya no para que estoy cansada,comatelo haci y ya" I'm like damn don't b mad at me.

So Paul n Karen walk in to eat as well they made their rice with an egg "comida de los pobres" as they call it. So ma loses her appetite goes by the window lights a stogey and tells Karen comate la sopa porque ya no quiero. Then you see paul's fat ass hands grab that shit like it's fuckin mondongo and justs starts pourin a bowl. He's pourin slowly so he won't spill using a spoon as well, then before u know it,fuckin biggity bam a whole chunk of fuckin meat lands, splashin shit on the table

And Paul like the starvin overwieght fucker that he is, dogs it in one bite leaving the rest of us...with no meat.

I would never actually get a new IPOD