Stream of conciousness

Sitting at work with not much to do. I've actually begun to jot things down I see on my way to work or when I'm heading home just so I don't forget them. The first thing I jotted down is about the subway. More so the people in the trains. Have you ever noticed when a big person..(I actually like to describe them as Heavy duty) steps onto the train, the first thing they look for are 2 empty seats? Not just one. But 2. The fucked up thing is, is that they sit in the middle of the 2 seats. Where that white border is literally in your crack. That shit is not comfortable at all. I know cause I've done it. When I got up to get off, my ass has already swallowed my boxers. And to pick it, is ridiculous because there are about 50 people watching. It took 30 minutes before I was able to get it out. Have you ever tried taking out a wedgie without using your hands? I have, haha. This makes me laugh. I usually try when I'm crossing the street. It doesn't always work though. When I'm getting to the other side of the street, I hop over the curb. With this being done correctly I guess it opens up the cheeks a little bit and the wedgie is gone. IF it doesn't come out. Then I start looking for little shit on the sidewalk to hop over. gum, coins, leaves, dog shit...etc. If there's nothing in sight then I pretend like there's something there. I don't care if there's people behind me. I'll end up hopping all the way to the train station if I have to. Kids do it all the time. If you notice, kids will just reach back and just yank that shit out. But when adults do it in front of other people, it grosses everyone out. The other thing I noticed is the way people take a seat in the train. This I don't understand. When they're squeezing in between 2 people who by the way never fucking move an inch and also pretend they don't see you. The person squeezing in ends up literally grinding their whole ass from the top back of the seat and then slide (grind) their way down. I just had my back on that seat bitch. The next thing I noticed are those taking public transportation when they're sick. What do you do when someone around you has a cold? Do you say buck it and take this person coughing and sneezing all over your personal space? Because honestly, nobody uses their arm to cover their faces. They just spit that shit all out. Me. I hold my breath. This is no joke. If I'm in the train and someone just sneezed/coughed, im not gonna inhale it. Cause then im gonna have what they have. I don't want it. Did they ask me if I wanted some germs? No. This is how people get sick. Sometimes I feel like walking up to them and saying. You never seen contagion nigga? You killin' everybody. That movie made me think too. Especially when I'm holding onto the rails. Aside from those who should be quarantined. There is a new case that is Mireya. Un nuevo caso. La mujer esta loca. And I mean loquisima. My mother's issue now is Tripper. Poor guy. Tied up all day long because he pisses everywhere. Jhen says its because he's old and nobody walks him (including her when she's running late in the morning) but that's besides the point. Somebody just needs to jab this lady in the fucken throat! Caso cerrado! I, too have an issue with tripper. But only because he tries to be an assassin when Elias is around. He's slick. He thinks I don't see his games but I do. When I'm in the kitchen and Elias follows me, Trip starts to shake. Of course because he knows I'm watching him so he plays that whole "im scared and innocent" look. If I wasn't there he'd be plotting his next move to pounce on lil' homie. There will be no black on black crime in this 3rd floor apt house. Now, I'm pretty sure we all have favorite siblings if there's more than 2 in the family. For example: Jhen, Fonz and myself. If you dont know this, Fonz is Jhen's favorite. I don't think anyone knows who Fonz's favorite is. Apparently Jhen seems to think that I'm Fonz's favorite. And mine has to be Fonz. Fonz was over the house to watch the Yankees play Baltimore. I was in the kitchen talking to Mireya. Jhen comes home from work, drops her bags on the dining table which the kitchen is RIGHT THERE! And the first thing you hear after she put everything down was "Hi Fonz!!!"....I know she saw me standing there. But she chose not to acknowledge me just yet because Tino was over. Tino has to come first. What about your little brother who never sleeps in his bed because he lets his big sister sleep on it? I'm just saying. Now this was pretty funny. Jhen was eating dinner. Mireya was doing...something in the kitchen I can't remember. And I was standing around drinking my Malta. When Jhen asked Mireya to give something "a su hijo favorito" and Mireya goes "quien? A Yunior?" ...what can I say? I didn't choose to be this. I was the mistake. I'm in the kitchen with my mother and we just started talking about her life in Ecuador. Her life in new york when she came here illegally after the titanic sank. She felt it was the perfect time to enter since people were more concerned about that giant ship than illegal immigrants. Then we started talking about Fonz and Jhen and their biological father. After him, came some Colombian guy in a mafia. He might've been Italian, I don't know. Then my father. As she's speaking about him she's telling me after Jhen was born, she didn't want to have anymore children. This is the conversation we had. Mireya- "despues que nacio Yenny, yo no queria mas hijos. Cuando comenze a salir con tu padre, sali embarazada." Me- "So yo fui un error. " Mireya- "si, jajajajaj...digo..no no no. Como vas a creer eso mi hijo lindo, bello, precioso." Me- "Pero tu dijistes que si primero!" Mireya- "no, no lo pense chichi" Me- "ya no te creo. Soy el error de esta casa!" Mireya- "noooo! Jajajaj Me- :-/ ...caso cerrado!