So deciding where to continue, jhen has told me to tell all of you about the hersheys kiss story (FUCKEN LIE. THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAID. GET IT RIGHT, JUNIOR).I was 5 yrs old and was going to kindergarden. Jhen will always describe my childhood as being obnoxious (HE WAS OBNOXIOUS AS HELL). I honestly don't think i was every time i look back at the wonderful times i had with jhen before she moved from 31-14 steinway street (WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY GOOD TIMES WHEN I LIVED AT HOME). And those sleepless nights she had on the sofa when lesean thomas didn't bring his black ass over to the hallway.(I SLEPT ON THE DAMNED COUCHED FOR 2 YEARS).
Anyways, in school, i was pretty much just bad at everything...especially MATH. Jhen took it upon herself to teach me with hersheys kiss' (BIG MISTAKE. WASTE OF TIME). So we would go to the living room. As i walk to the sofa where i used to plant all my boogers..mind you till this day no one has ever known (DISGUSTING. I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW). I'm thinking to myself what will happen to me if I get the answer wrong? i used to be so afraid of jhen (PLEASE. YOU STILL ARE)..there were times when she used to pop up in my nightmares. Of course she wasn't the one saving me(I WOULD BE THE FIRST ONE TRYING TO SAVE YOU, UNGRATEFUL MOFO). She would team up with the evil in my head (EVIL= MIREYA, NOT JHEN). She came at me with her knife fingered tip glove (I WOULDN'T HAVE RUINED MY 1992- ACRYLIC NAILS ON YOUR CAN'T-ADD-ASS). Her long black hair that slightly covered face. And every time she laughed and i saw those piercing braces..i was like DAMN she's gonna bite my freakin face off (LOL! OK THIS IS FUNNY). So jhen pulls out this delicious looking bag of hershey's kiss' out of the fridge (THAT BAG WAS WHAT YOUR MOTHER FED YOU ON A DAILY BASIS ALONG WITH KITKAT BARS AND BOTTLES OF PEPSI), brings it over to the coffee table, reaches in and grabs a hand full. Didn't take long for my hands to sweat and my mouth to water. The second jhen sat down..math class has begun. (YEAH AND YOU FAILED EVERY TIME)
I was so nervous i didnt know if i should raise my hand to tell her i had to pee or just hold it..so i held it (WEAK ASS). Jhen licks her lips..sucks her teeth and says "ok, ready?" i said yes but what i really meant was fuck no (OF COURSE YOU WEREN'T). She then lines up 5 kiss' on the table (omg so delicious) and asks me.."yunior, if i were to take 3 of these kiss' away, how many would you have left?" SO I REACTED WITHOUT EVEN THINKING..i reached over and grabbed one slowly analyzing it and from the corner of my eye i noticed that jhen looked away. I AUTOMATICALLY started unwrapping this delicious kiss like i was fuckin charlie in the willy wonka factory looking for that god forsaken golden ticket..i put the kiss in my mouth before jhen turned and saw me. She then looks at the table and noticed one was missing. She looks at me, i look at her at those blazing eyes and little did i know there was a karate chop coming straight for me towards the back of my neck..it hits me, i yell OUCH!!!! the kiss goes fuckin FLYING OUT OF MY MOUTH, lands on the floor and i started to cry. From then on i hated jhen's math class 101. (JUNIOR= REPEATING STUDENT).
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Back from Hiatus...
....feels a little strange to come back to this after so long. I dont even know where to stArt.Lets try starting with my lovely sister. Of course everyone that Gets to know her loves her...i know i do. But do you all really "know" her?..i Dont think so. Im gonna go back As far as i can remember.
First of all my father used to own this white grand prix. Small freakin thing. Way before he bought his beaner van. I used to hate getting in this car cause even though i was small, for some reason i always got squished. Those of you who arent latino probably dont know. But when you have a 2 door car you tend to fit as many people in it as if it were a party bus. Of course everytime we went some where, jhen sat NeXT to me...i know she didnt want to. She's not gonna admit to it which is why i'm telling this story and not her. I was 4 or 5. Whenever that car turned one way my whole body ended up leaning against her arm. And what Does she do? She snaps her arm out PUSHING me to the other side of the car, Im fuckin 4 yrs old. My body FLIES across the back Seat of this thing. People driving behind us were probably thinking i was flying around in there like baby superman. Oh sure but when it's the other way around, when she ends up leaning on me. All i could do was take the 140 lbs pounds that was pushed against me. It just wasn't fair. When we ended up on the highway...jhen loved to Open the window. Have that breeze hit her hair. Ooofa!! Not like now where if its too windy she has to wear a hat. OMG my hair! Ay mi pelo. Im still sitting NeXT to her and little does she know that her hair is whipping me in the face. I cant say shit or else she was gonna snuff me. Let alone everytime i opened my mouth just to say mommy, her hair would find its way into my mouth and choke me.
A few years later "the craft" Came out. I swore to myself back then that jhen was part of that group. All she wore was black. Thick black hair. Black eyeliner. Red lipstick..sometimes. Usually only when she went out with a black guy....her favorite ha!!!!!OMG!!! the baths. How could i forget the baths. I used to CRY when i heard my mother yell "jhenny! Dale un banito a Junior!" it was complete torture....i know she didnt want to. Especially having to Wash my culito, Oh man i knew she was furious. I could feel her blood boiling through her hands. The soap would melt if she held it for too long. Oh man and the drying? What a disaster. Lets just say thank the lord JESUS she didnt dry me off with a blow drier. I would Have had 1st degree burns all over. Por todos lados!!!!! She used to dry me off with the towel. Plant it on my head, while it covered my face. So i wont be able to see a damn thing while she yanked my hair off of my scalp. I dont think i have Ever experienced anything more painful than that. I love you jhenny!! Tamales!!
First of all my father used to own this white grand prix. Small freakin thing. Way before he bought his beaner van. I used to hate getting in this car cause even though i was small, for some reason i always got squished. Those of you who arent latino probably dont know. But when you have a 2 door car you tend to fit as many people in it as if it were a party bus. Of course everytime we went some where, jhen sat NeXT to me...i know she didnt want to. She's not gonna admit to it which is why i'm telling this story and not her. I was 4 or 5. Whenever that car turned one way my whole body ended up leaning against her arm. And what Does she do? She snaps her arm out PUSHING me to the other side of the car, Im fuckin 4 yrs old. My body FLIES across the back Seat of this thing. People driving behind us were probably thinking i was flying around in there like baby superman. Oh sure but when it's the other way around, when she ends up leaning on me. All i could do was take the 140 lbs pounds that was pushed against me. It just wasn't fair. When we ended up on the highway...jhen loved to Open the window. Have that breeze hit her hair. Ooofa!! Not like now where if its too windy she has to wear a hat. OMG my hair! Ay mi pelo. Im still sitting NeXT to her and little does she know that her hair is whipping me in the face. I cant say shit or else she was gonna snuff me. Let alone everytime i opened my mouth just to say mommy, her hair would find its way into my mouth and choke me.
A few years later "the craft" Came out. I swore to myself back then that jhen was part of that group. All she wore was black. Thick black hair. Black eyeliner. Red lipstick..sometimes. Usually only when she went out with a black guy....her favorite ha!!!!!OMG!!! the baths. How could i forget the baths. I used to CRY when i heard my mother yell "jhenny! Dale un banito a Junior!" it was complete torture....i know she didnt want to. Especially having to Wash my culito, Oh man i knew she was furious. I could feel her blood boiling through her hands. The soap would melt if she held it for too long. Oh man and the drying? What a disaster. Lets just say thank the lord JESUS she didnt dry me off with a blow drier. I would Have had 1st degree burns all over. Por todos lados!!!!! She used to dry me off with the towel. Plant it on my head, while it covered my face. So i wont be able to see a damn thing while she yanked my hair off of my scalp. I dont think i have Ever experienced anything more painful than that. I love you jhenny!! Tamales!!
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